"The Cowboy: Wild Ride/Cowboy in Paradise/Saddle Sore/Rodeo Man" by P. J. Mellor, Nelissa Donovan, Vonna Harper, and Nikki Alton

Every once in a while you get a donation that just throws you for a loop; this was exactly that sort of book. Someone had dropped off two bags of various mass market paperbacks and trade paperbacks, most of them romances, along with a few Christian fiction and I think one non-fiction book - and this. I thought at first that it was just another romance until I turned to read the description on the back. About 3/4 of the way down the blurb, there's a box that says something along the lines of "CAUTION - EXTREMELY HOT! Sexually explicit material inside".

Oh my. Then I realized if I'd just looked at the publisher (Aphrodisia), I would have known right from the get-go that this was erotica. Yeah, something we do not carry in my library system, and something we also don't sell at our annual book sale (just like any X-rated DVDs, although I'm not entirely sure any one's ever turned in one of those!) I set the book aside trying to decide what to do with it, then after talking to my good friend Wendy of Half Price Books, I realized I knew exactly what to do - send it to her! They've always had a good section of erotica for purchase, and the book is in good shape for an older title. And I have to admit, the cover art is certainly eye-catching!

Well, after the book sat there for a few days on my shelf at home, I have to admit that curiosity got the better of me. Plus I was looking for something to read before I went to sleep, so I didn't want to pick up anything too cerebral. I haven't been overly impressed with the erotica I've tried in the past, and I figured this wouldn't be any different. I was right, to an extent, but I was also wrong.

There's not much sense trying to describe each story because they're all basically the same: a cowboy meets a girl (or fellow cowgirl, as the case may be) and the instant sparks between them lead to sexual encounters. There's no build-up to any sort of romance here - it's pretty much "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" territory. Except that the first three stories all have more of a plot than I had anticipated, and they all could have easily been mere romance stories if the sex had been toned down a bit. Perhaps this is because the authors are all women, but I really haven't encountered that before, the "romance" angle. The last story was what I'm more familiar with, pretty much nothing but explicit sex (to the point that I found myself skipping over a lot of text) and an ending that could go either way.

The writing is competent but I never found myself very involved with any of the characters. As for the "hotness" of the book, I guess it's hot. Maybe I'm just one of those people that doesn't "get" erotica, but I find a tastefully, well-written sex scene that still leaves a little something to the imagination a whole lot "hotter". Maybe it's the fact that the authors have to use the more graphic language rather than the usual literary euphemisms, but I just don't really care for my sex to be that.... hmmm.... clinical? If you do enjoy erotica, this might not be a bad book to track down. I do like the cover, though, so I'll give them brownie points for that!

"Eternity Soup: Inside the Quest to End Aging" by Greg Critser

First off, I hope Mr. Critser sees that yes, I have read his book, the very same one that I had posted about when it was first coming out, the one that caused a bit of a kerfluffle when he read that post and said I needed to learn how to write. That book. After apologies on both sides, I promised I would read it - and I keep my promises.

The book is not what I had thought it would be when I first read the description and wrote that now infamous post. It's actually a very interesting look at the lengths some are willing to go in order to slow down or even stop the aging process. The author has a dog in the fight, so to speak, as he's had a concussion and now suffers from a "form of accelerated brain aging"; he'd like to slow the process as much as possible. And since reading the book, my husband and I have a bit of an interest as well: at the ripe "old" age of 45, we've just learned that he will most likely be having a total hip replacement within the next month. Quite shocking to us, I can tell you that.

The book begins with the author talking to his parents about the subject of aging; they inform him that they are on a hormone treatment administered by a "longevity doctor". It gets him to thinking about the new and different ways that people are trying to fight the aging process - the existing aging process, I should say. Most are looking to extend their natural life spans while keeping themselves as healthy as possible. There are new lines of thinking about aging, and it would seem that most are now wanting to treat it as a disease, rather than a natural process. There's some good scientific data to back up a few of these new theories, although they don't always prove to hold true with us mere mortals. (I loved the way Critser kept quoting one of the scientists who works in this field, one who doesn't believe everything can be equated to humans because, as he points out several times, the findings were "on mice!")

So how do you keep yourself young? Well, you can join the CR crowd (Caloric Restriction) and eat very, very little. This is supposed to keep your cells busy on repairs, too busy to age normally and break down. And it does appear to work - "on mice!" - but at what cost? As Critser points out, the CR people all tend to feel a bit cold, seem very mellow, and often complain about pain in the gluteus maximus, mostly because they have no glutes to sit on anymore. He's not overly impressed with the idea of CR, especially after meeting a very zealous group of CR fans whose leader espouses a lot of stuff that has absolutely no scientific basis.

Critser then heads to one of the afore-mentioned "longevity" doctors to discuss bio-identical hormones, made famous (or infamous) by Suzanne Somers. The idea here is to keep your body full of the hormones that you have when you are young, and the way to do this is by finding someone who can compound the bio-identicals for you. The problem here is money - you have to have it, because the typical medical insurance policy does not cover this sort of treatment. And these "treatments" are not cheap, as Critser finds out quickly. Once on his regimen, he feels a bit better, but there's not enough of an improvement to convince him that the money is worth it.

Well, what about building yourself new parts? That's another option being explored, "engineering" body parts from stem cells. Again, this has some good data behind it, and there is a real and true need for this sort of ability, as people die every day waiting for organ transplants. Sadly, I'm one of those people who has lost someone, an aunt; she needed a liver, did actually receive one, but started rejecting it within a week and passed away. My husband and I are both organ donors, but there's still the problem of rejection. By growing the new parts from stem cells, hopefully rejection would be a thing of the past. Again, the science is there, but the cost is prohibitive - for now.

Overall, I was impressed with the book, mostly because of the last chapter. In it, Critser is attending a class about longevity studies. The professor asks the students what the most difficult thing will be for people that will now be able to live over 100 years. Of course the students all throw out medical-type answers. The professor finally interrupts and tells them that the most difficult obstacle will be loneliness; that as one ages so successfully, you'll leave behind those near and dear that are not able to keep up. Indeed, Critser talks about one such soul, a man who lived well over 100 years; the theory as to why (he wasn't a total fitness fanatic by any means) is that this man and his wife always had people around them, young people living with them in their house, relatives stopping by, neighbors coming over for dinner, etc. They had a community to support them emotionally. This makes perfect sense as it's one of the keystones to what are called "blue zones"; people who have a strong sense of community and family. In other words, people who aren't loners. (Might explain why women typically live longer than men, too - we tend to form close bonds with family and friends). There's a lot of interesting information to digest in "Eternity Soup", and I'm glad to have read it. I would now definitely recommend it as well. Thanks to Mr. Critser for jumping my case - I deserved it!

"Inked" by Karen Chance, Marjorie M. Liu, Yasmine Galenorn and Eileen Wilks

Four tales of paranormal romance and urban fantasy explore body art that is more than it seems - in a world of magic and mayhem that always leaves its mark....

New York Times bestselling author Karen Chance's "Skin Deep" tells the tale of a war mage in Las Vegas who stumbles across an ominous magical ward that appears as a dragon on her skin - and has a mind of its own...

When New York Times bestselling author Marjorie M. Liu's demon hunter Maxine Kiss investigates a grisly murder, she finds herself involved in a conspiracy dating back to World War II - and a secret mission that her grandmother may have carried out for the U. S. government, one that involves the mysterious "Armor of Roses."

In New York Times bestselling author Yasmine Galenorn's "Etched in Silver," a supernatural agent is on the trail of a sadistic serial killer when an unexpected - and dangerously seductive - ally comes to her aid, setting in motion a magical ritual that may end up binding them together, body and soul.

When the magically tattooed body of a man is found in a Northern California town, FBI Agent Lily Yu is drawn into the case. Trouble is, the victim wasn't human - and the killer isn't finished in USA Today bestselling author Eileen Wilks's "Human Nature."

Well, three outta four ain't bad.

As usual, Karen Chance totally delivers in her story. I love her stuff, the Cassie Palmer series and the Dorina Basarab books, and her short stories are great, too. This time we have war Mage Lia (who has had two previous short story appearances) searching for her boyfriend, werewolf Cyrus. He's been nabbed by the bad guys and his brother, the pack alpha, wants her to find him before he's killed. Trouble is there's a war being fought, so there's no chance of back-up, including the brother - he and Cyrus have pulled off a stunt making Cyrus a rogue wolf, and that means that Cyrus is lupus non gratis among his pack. The tattoos in this story are protective wards used by the mages, and Lia has recently acquired a new one that seems to have a mind of its own. Good writing, my only complaint being that Chance seems overly fond of interludes from the past (used quite often in the Cassie Palmer series, as she can shift thru time).

Marjorie M. Liu is also great as usual. It takes me a while to get into the Kiss books, as they're not as light and romantic as her Dirk & Steele series, but I always end up liking them. I think it's her boys - the demons that protect her by day as full-body tattoos. There's a genuine love there on both sides; she treats them like her children, and they treat her like their Mother. In this story Maxine goes back in time to help her grandmother. Always an interesting prospect, time travel, and this one has a great scene where not only do Maxine and her grandmother meet, but both sets of the boys meet, too.

The only mis-step for me is the story by Yasmine Galenorn. As much as I loved the story about the selkie in "Never After", I hated this tale about Camille D'Artigo and her mission to hunt down a rapist. She meets a dark stranger who offers her help, and of course they're attracted to each other, and there's a lot of talk of sex (in quite blunt terms, I might add). I thought Camille wasn't very sympathetic, and there was so much, I don't know, just foulness to this story, I kept wondering if it really was written by the same author as the selkie story. Or if maybe this was really the way she wrote, she had someone else write the selkie story. Either way, I wasn't impressed and I definitely won't be reading any books in the D'Artigo series.

I loved the story by Eileen Wilks, and it made me wonder why I stopped reading her work only two or three books into the series World of the Lupi. Human Lily Yu and her werewolf mate Rule Turner have a killer to track down, one who has used magic to incapacitate a werewolf long enough to kill him. The deceased was a friend of Rule's, and unless Lily can prove the foul play, the human police will write it off; werewolves barely have any rights in this world. Great story, great plot, great characters. Makes me want to go get the books I missed, and I think I will - just not right now. I still have a lot of books to get through in my to-be-read pile right now! But yes, I'm definitely planning on catching up with Wilks.

As I said in the beginning, three outta four ain't bad, especially if you like these authors.

"Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang" by Chelsea Handler

When I started this book, I found myself wondering why I'd wanted to read it. I even went back to my review of her previous work, "Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea", wondering if I'd liked it (I had mixed feelings). Luckily, I stuck with it, and it proved to be much funnier than said previous book.

The first two entries in CCBB are all about Chelsea and her childhood. "The Feeling" describes her learning how to pleasure herself at a slumber party (they keep their clothes on because actually touching yourself is dirty). "When Life Hands You Lemons" is all about her quest to get the perfect Cabbage Patch Doll, specifically trying to not only convince her parents to buy the doll but going into explicit detail exactly which doll she wants. These two entries are my least favorite, almost causing me to give up on the book. I'm not sure why I don't like her descriptions of her childhood (and yes, I know they're not entirely true, that she's being sarcastic, etc); I just don't find them funny, let alone mildly humorous.

Then we get to "Grey Gardens" and the book takes off. Chelsea is alone in the apartment, her boyfriend (and boss) Ted having gone away for the weekend, and rather than be productive, she chooses to spend her days wallowing in bed watching bad TV movies. I can totally relate to that! OK, I tend to sit on my couch in my PJs, but you get the idea. This much more amusing chapter is followed by "Dudley", a bulldog that plays into a huge practical joke her said boyfriend. I loved this chapter - a great joke, fabulous co-conspirators, and just super funny. I do feel sorry for Ted, though, as I'm also one of those people cursed with friends who can lie to me with straight faces about outrageous things and I will completely believe in their sincerity.

"Wedding Chopper" is an amusing scene at a wedding of one of Chelsea's friends, followed by the hysterical chapter "Black-on-Black Crime". Chels has asked her driver and friend Sylvan to go on vacation with her, Ted, and some other friends to Turks and Caicos. "Chocolate Chunk" as he's affectionately dubbed is a large black man in need of some good love, according to our girl. They have some general hijinks, then meet two "Mocha Mamas", Feliqua and Wendy, who also happen to be very, very drunk. Things go downhill quickly but in the most amusing way. Good stuff.

"Dear A**hole" is a letter addressed to Chelsea's dad, Melvin (aka Platypus and Popsicle to his kids), from a very disgruntled renter. Seems Dad left the Martha's Vineyard beach house a complete disaster zone, then charged $7900 for a week's rental to this group of twelve. With parents like this, who need enemies? Dad makes a repeat appearance in the next story, "The Suspect", as the kids try to convince him to sell the house. This is told through emails between the siblings and it's a riot. Highly recommend this story.

Finally we get to "Chunk", the story of how Chelsea got her beloved dog (he's on the cover of the book with her in a most suggestive pose). If you like dogs, you'll like the story. Heck, even if you're not a dog lover, you'll like the story.

Overall, I would give this a definite recommend. Just skip the first two stories (unless you like that sort of humor) and enjoy the rest!

May 3rd, 2010 releases

It's been a while since I've tried to keep you up-to-date on the newest releases, hasn't it? I find myself with a few blissfully quiet moments, and since there are some (hopefully) good books coming out next month, I wanted to try to get back into the "new release" habit. Without further ado, let's look at next week, shall we?

Week of May 3
"Dead in the Family" by Charlaine Harris continues the tales of our beloved Sookie Stackhouse. This is the 10th title in the series, and hopefully this will be better than the last book. Looks like Eric is going to play a bigger part in this book, which is just fine with me. Unfortunately, it seems that his relationship with Sookie is going to be scrutinized by the new Vampire King, plus Eric's maker is going to show up in Bon Temps. There's also the issue of the weres going public, something that won't be welcomed by most humans, so you know that's going to get messy. And Sookie's fairy cousin, Claude, comes knocking at her front door looking for a place to live. Hmmm..... that sounds like an awful lot of stuff going on again, doesn't it? And that was my main complaint about the previous entry, too many plot lines for that small a book, not to mention way more violence than normal. I still plan to read this, though, just hoping it's not a horrible mishmash.

"Blue-Eyed Devil" by Robert B. Parker is the 4th book in his Virgil Cole and Everett Hitch series. And in case you hadn't heard (or read it here), Parker is no longer with us, having passed away from an apparent heart attack earlier this year. So this will probably be the final book in the series; the odd thing was that I was under the impression that this was always supposed to be a trilogy. Maybe he wanted to write about these characters more, or maybe he caved to his fans who couldn't get enough of them - either way, enjoy while you can.

"Innocent" by Scott Turow. In true-life fashion, the action of this book takes place 22 years after the first book, "Presumed Innocent", probably one of Turow's most famous and best works. He hasn't been writing a lot that I can tell, but word on the street is that this will be a fan fave and won't disappoint. The same characters from the first book, Rusty Sabich and Tommy Molto, are pitted against each other again. Not really my thing, but if you like suspense (and if you've been waiting all this time for the sequel), this might appeal.

"Mom Still Likes You Best: The Unfinished Business Between Siblings" by Jane Isay. If, like me, you have a sibling, then I'm guessing you're already looking at this title and thinking you might want (or need) to read it. Isay previous wrote about parents and their reactions to their children's spouses ("Walking on Eggshells") and now she turns her sights on what she calls the "horizontal relationships" between siblings. Often there is some level of rivalry between siblings, sometimes bordering on hostility, and that competitiveness doesn't always end with adulthood. Topics such as the care of aging parents and the division of estates are covered here. Best of all, it's not an overly long work, clocking in at a mere 192 pages. If I remember correctly, I asked for a copy of this for my specific branch - should be interesting to see how well it circulates!

"Tell-All" by Chuck Palahniuk brings on the usual strangeness of the man who brought us "Fight Club". This time he's doing a sort of homage to the name-dropping salacious tell-alls written by Hollywood stars (usually ones who have faded somewhat and need either the money or the rush of fame again). Chuck is not for everyone, but this sounds like it could be one of his most accessible works, as so many of us are drawn to the train wrecks that are often the lives of Hollywood "stars".

OK, that's going to do it until next week. Keep on reading, and don't forget, you're more than welcome to make comments (although I will be approving them first, don't forget!) and to make suggestions. Thanks!

"The Next Adventures of Guy" by Norm Cowie

(I apologize for the extreme delay in this review. I just found the one I did for the first book about Guy and his friends - from 2008! According to that review, I was going to read this sequel and review it "in a few months". Guess it has been a few, huh? Actually, about 24 months to be more precise! Again, sorry for the delay...)

Guy and his friends are back, having taken on the evil telemarketers in "The Adventures of Guy". Everyone knows that in every "Quest" you have to have a sorcerer, a warrior, and, of course, a sequel - thus "The Next Adventures of Guy". Our story opens with Guy and his pal, the sorcerer Thurman, running, then meeting Guy's elf friend Knob and Guy's little brother Seth. Thurman proceeds to tell everyone that they have to go on another Quest. What's the goal this time? Save the Earth! Seems there are some aliens headed towards our humble little planet, aliens who are not happy at all about the name of their planet. They have vowed to destroy us in order to exact revenge. And what is this awful name, you may ask? "Farfignuggen". Yeah, think of the VW ads from a few years back. I'm fairly certain this word is spelled just a bit differently; can't be slapped with a lawsuit!

The guys go to gather their Warrior from their first Quest only to find she's out of commission. Yep, she's pregnant with yet another set of twins, thanks to her overly fertile double uteri. Oh, and her name is Beth, a little factoid that was left out of the first book. Before they can go on their new Quest, the guys (including Guy) still need to find themselves a Warrior; they enlist Thurman's girlfriend, Wendy, who works at Wendy's fast food restaurant. She doesn't have double uteri or double PMS, but she is a redhead, which means she has extremely wicked anger abilities. With the gang firmly established, the Quest can begin!

Trying to describe one of these books is next to impossible. There are bits that are just completely outrageous, such as the scene where Wendy has an episode of "high beams", which enables the guys to get away from the evil gas station employees and evil OPEC guy, Oscar (who drives a Hummer, a very black and large Hummer, a vehicle with a hallway and doors to different rooms and who knows what else?). There's the Whomping Cloud, composed entirely of second-hand cigarette smoke and possessing the ability to "whomp" on buildings, cars, and people, thus destroying them. There's the Quest Mobile, Knob's used limo that belches out a cloud of black smog and drinks oil almost as often as the guys drink beer. There's all sorts of hijinks and potty humor and such. And there's still some really good barbs against Big Oil, George Bush and other political topics.

I enjoyed this book, even though as I said in the first review, it's very much a niche kind of title. It certainly wouldn't appeal to everyone, and yes, at times it's rather silly. But there are days when silly is exactly what you want. Just don't get Guy to say that he believes in something - he isn't known as "the Unbeliever" for nothing!

"Never After" by Laurell K. Hamilton, Yasmine Galenorn, Marjorie M. Liu, and Sharon Shinn

Remember all those fairy tales you were told as a child, how the princess found her prince and lived happily ever after? Remember that there was usually a fairy godmother or some other such being to help the story along? Remember how passive the princesses were, almost to the point of being helpless (think of how many needed "saving" from someone or something)? The stories here are a different take on those old, worn-out tales, no godmothers needed, no helpless, hapless heroines here.

Perhaps the most surprising thing about this book was the story by LKH, "Can He Bake a Cherry Pie?", also the shortest entry in the book at a mere 36 pages. Why was I so shocked? Well, I haven't read anything by LKH since her Anita Blake series went off the rails (think that was around "Incubus Dreams"), and by that point nothing of hers was short. Also, there's pretty much nothing sexual in this story anywhere, other than the old lecher that has been promised our heroine's hand in marriage leering at her and goosing her. Elinore's father has arranged this deal, and she's not happy about it. Rather than disobey him outright, she declares that she's going to rescue Prince True; several females in the realm have also set out to rescue this famous Prince but none have succeeded - indeed, few have returned. Elinore leaves that very night before she loses her nerve, fully expecting to be one of those fated to die in her attempt. However, what she finds isn't exactly what she expected. Not a bad story, a little on the submissive female side for my taste, but overall a much, much better story than I expected.

"Shadow of the Mist" by Yasmine Galenorn takes us into the world of selkies and stalkers. Selkie Siobhan is pregnant with her first child, an event she's waited over 100 years for. At one of the happiest moments of her life, she receives a phone call that could change everything; the man she was "promised" to has finally tracked her down, intending to get her back (taking stalking to a whole new level, in my humble opinion). Frightened for herself, her baby, and her fiance, she contacts her friends, the D'Artigo sisters (from the author's Sisters of the Moon series) to help her solve her problem. The suspense isn't bad here, as I truly felt concerned for our heroine. A bad breakup is one thing, but to be hunted down by the ex for over 100 years? Truly terrifying. I had never read Galenorn before, but I enjoyed this tale.

Then we come to one of my favorite authors (as you know if you're a loyal follower of this blog!), Marjorie M. Liu, and her story "Tangleroot Palace". Princess Salina ("Sally" to her friends) has been ordered by her father to marry a warlord, a horrible ogre of a man if the rumors about him are true. She's desperate to avoid her nuptials at any cost and looks for a solution in the magical forest of Tangleroot. There's a Queen there that might be able to help her - or might just be the death of her. In her travels she meets and is invited to join a troupe of wandering entertainers, a motley group who allow her to be herself, plain old Sally. There's a very dream-like sequence involving the Queen, and even though I'm not entirely sure what happened, I still loved the story. Then again, Liu has never disappointed me yet.

Finally, Sharon Shinn provides probably the best entry, "The Wrong Bridegroom". It's always a good thing when the strongest, most entertaining story is last, isn't it? Sort of like saving your dessert or something.... Anyway, there's a contest being held at Castle Kallenore; King Reginald wants to find a husband for his daughter Olivia. She's agreed to marry the winner of the contest, the suitor in question having proved himself in a series of challenges such as strength, wisdom, and courage. One of the suitors is "the boy next door", a lad that Olivia has grown up with as he's one of her neighbors (can you really have neighbors when you live in a castle?) She finds him dull and boring, and hopes that the winner will be exciting and handsome. In fact, she settles her sights on one of the suitors after she sees him on the grounds during "off" hours. The tale follows the contest, and wouldn't you know it, the handsome guy does win - as does the neighbor. It's a tie, and Olivia has to choose. She picks Prince Charming, of course, and then insists that she needs to meet his family before they can be wed, thus buying her some time (her father wants a quick marriage). As a young lady of good standing, Olivia can't travel with her fiance alone, so his sister chaperones. They've barely left the castle (in a plain old horse-and-cart, no less!) when the other Bridegroom follows and joins them. The party grows larger and larger as Olivia's "wicked" stepmother joins the party too. This is the longest story, and as I said, probably the best. Not only are the main characters engaging, there's enough time for Shinn to develop the side characters as well, and no one is really what they seem. The pretty princess is in for quite a surprise, not just about her prospective husbands-to-be...

I would definitely recommend this anthology to those who like entertaining stories as well as fans of these authors. Quite refreshing to have our heroines rescue themselves, too!