Friday, April 30, 2010
"Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang" by Chelsea Handler
The first two entries in CCBB are all about Chelsea and her childhood. "The Feeling" describes her learning how to pleasure herself at a slumber party (they keep their clothes on because actually touching yourself is dirty). "When Life Hands You Lemons" is all about her quest to get the perfect Cabbage Patch Doll, specifically trying to not only convince her parents to buy the doll but going into explicit detail exactly which doll she wants. These two entries are my least favorite, almost causing me to give up on the book. I'm not sure why I don't like her descriptions of her childhood (and yes, I know they're not entirely true, that she's being sarcastic, etc); I just don't find them funny, let alone mildly humorous.
Then we get to "Grey Gardens" and the book takes off. Chelsea is alone in the apartment, her boyfriend (and boss) Ted having gone away for the weekend, and rather than be productive, she chooses to spend her days wallowing in bed watching bad TV movies. I can totally relate to that! OK, I tend to sit on my couch in my PJs, but you get the idea. This much more amusing chapter is followed by "Dudley", a bulldog that plays into a huge practical joke her said boyfriend. I loved this chapter - a great joke, fabulous co-conspirators, and just super funny. I do feel sorry for Ted, though, as I'm also one of those people cursed with friends who can lie to me with straight faces about outrageous things and I will completely believe in their sincerity.
"Wedding Chopper" is an amusing scene at a wedding of one of Chelsea's friends, followed by the hysterical chapter "Black-on-Black Crime". Chels has asked her driver and friend Sylvan to go on vacation with her, Ted, and some other friends to Turks and Caicos. "Chocolate Chunk" as he's affectionately dubbed is a large black man in need of some good love, according to our girl. They have some general hijinks, then meet two "Mocha Mamas", Feliqua and Wendy, who also happen to be very, very drunk. Things go downhill quickly but in the most amusing way. Good stuff.
"Dear A**hole" is a letter addressed to Chelsea's dad, Melvin (aka Platypus and Popsicle to his kids), from a very disgruntled renter. Seems Dad left the Martha's Vineyard beach house a complete disaster zone, then charged $7900 for a week's rental to this group of twelve. With parents like this, who need enemies? Dad makes a repeat appearance in the next story, "The Suspect", as the kids try to convince him to sell the house. This is told through emails between the siblings and it's a riot. Highly recommend this story.
Finally we get to "Chunk", the story of how Chelsea got her beloved dog (he's on the cover of the book with her in a most suggestive pose). If you like dogs, you'll like the story. Heck, even if you're not a dog lover, you'll like the story.
Overall, I would give this a definite recommend. Just skip the first two stories (unless you like that sort of humor) and enjoy the rest!