Friday, March 20, 2009

"We Thought You Would Be Prettier" by Laurie Notaro

The subtitle says it all - "True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive". I thought that was me, but after reading Notaro's tales of everyday life, I have to say she's got the crown. Laurie is back with tales of her day-to-day struggle through life, and she's funnier than ever.

Witness "I'm Gonna Kick Your Ass", which is said not to a person, but to his hair. The completely weenie-ass kid at the pet food store, the one who can barely lift a 20 lb bag of dog food into Laurie's cart, has Flippy Hair. Yes, the hair that every girl in the 70s wanted to have - desperately. Laurie is so entranced by this kid's hair that she actually threatens the hair (under her breath, of course). When her hubby demands to see this guy and the damn Flippy Hair, things take an even stranger turn... Never underestimate the power of a good 'do.

I also give her a big "Hell Yeah!" for "Attack of the XL Girl". Laurie is confronted with fat discrimination when shopping with her cute friend in several boutiques. Yeah, fat discrimination - not because they won't wait on her but because these lame-ass stores don't carry anything larger than an 8. Maybe a 10, if you're lucky. Considering that Notaro wears - gasp! - a 14, which is evidently way too fat to shop in said stores. As Notaro points out to several sales clerks, a 14 is pretty much the AVERAGE size of the American female. Even worse? Some stores did have her size, but they kept them stowed away in a back room of the store, much too embarassed that there might be clients that size. I was right there with her in my outrage. I'm sorry, but considering anything about an 8 to be "plus-size" is just evil. If you're going to market your clothing that way, put something on the damn sign outside - "Fashions for the Painfully Thin" or "Clothes for the Very Trim".

The best one of all, though, has to be "Curse of the Squinky Eye". Never heard of the Squinky Eye? I bet you've had one before. Really, you have! Ever have one of your eyelids start twiching on you, sort of spasmodically, not really enough to be noticeable but enough to drive you nuts? Yeah, you've had the Squinky Eye!

Do yourself a favor and find this book, along with the others by Notaro. You won't be sorry!

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