"Nightlight" by The Harvard Lampoon

"About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him - which I assumed was wildly out of his control - that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogenously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me."

And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon's hilarious send-up.  Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon, looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events - Edwart leaves his Tater Tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball! - Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive? Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalkerlike behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.

Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I was a huge fan of the Twilight saga - about two years or so ago. I read the first three books with utter delight, and I recommended them to several library patrons (and not just teenagers, I might add). Unfortunately, I feel like the almighty SM jumped the shark with the fourth installment, a book so heinous to me that I stopped reading it just a tad after 100 pages; my feelings about Bella and Edward have been tainted every since. And after rereading "Twilight" last summer (brushing up on it before a library program I did), I realized that SM wasn't nearly so wonderful a writer as I had originally thought. Call it a bad case of reader's rose-colored glasses.

Anyway, having once loved the series, and now being a bit of a hater, I thought I'd give this satire a shot. After all, it isn't easy to do good satire - just ask Weird Al Yankovic. A little goes a long way, and the people at Harvard Lampoon wisely keep this offering very, very short, not even reaching 200 pages. The book isn't really laugh-out-loud funny, but for those who can recognize the flaws of SM, it will make you smirk. The writing is deliberately over-the-top, and Belle is so self-absorbed as to completely ignore those around her, not only their actions but even when they speak to her. Unlike the heroine of "Twilight", this girl is convinced that she's the greatest thing on Earth since sliced bread and beautiful to boot, so it's no wonder to her that all the boys have massive crushes on her. All except Edwart, of course!

It's a wonderful lampoon of the uber-popular teen paranormal romance series, and my hat is off to the writers at Harvard Lampoon. What's even more amazing is that they've managed to drop little kernels of truth in their story, things that those reading the original should be thinking about. My favorite is one of the "regular" kids responding to Belle's completely unreal response to someone asking her "what's new?" The mere mortal derides her about her response, then goes on to say, "Besides, isn't it a little soon to cut yourself off from the rest of your peers, depending on a boyfriend to satisfy your social needs as opposed to making friends?" A sentiment that I truly wish more teen girls would hear and take to heart.

"I.O.U.: Why Everyone Owes Everyone and No One Can Pay" by John Lanchester

For most people, the reasons for the sudden collapse of our economy remain obscure. I.O.U. is the story of how we came to experience such a complete and devastating financial implosion, and how the decisions and actions of a select group of individuals had profound consequences for America, Europe, and the global economy overall. John Lanchester begins with "The ATM Moment," that seemingly magical proliferation of cheap credit that led to an explosion of lending, and then deftly outlines the global and local landscapes of banking and finance. Viewing the crisis through the lens of politics, culture, and contemporary history - from the invention and widespread misuse of financial instruments to the culpability of subprime mortgages - Lanchester draws perceptive conclusions on the limitations of financial and governmental regulation, capitalism's deepest flaw, and , most important, on the plain and simple facts of human nature where cash is concerned. Weaving together firsthand research and superbly written reportage, Lanchester delivers a shrewd perspective and a digestible, comprehensive analysis that connects the dots for the expert and casual reader alike. I.O.U. is an eye-opener of a book - it may well provoke anger, amazement, or rueful disbelief - and, as the author clearly reveals, we've only just begun to get ourselves back on track.

I never thought I'd really want to read a book about the recent financial meltdown that most of the world has recently experienced. Why bother reading about it when I've been living it for the last two years? But this book looked a bit different. It purported to show the "how it all happened" on a fairly grand scale without necessarily pointing fingers at political parties. And some of the bits and pieces I read seemed slanted to the funny side, which would be a welcome relief - a book that didn't take everything super-seriously. I think the author really had me though when he quoted someone saying "we're rubbish at thinking about risk". Because we really are - we always want something for nothing. And a big something for nothing is even better.
The book turned out to be very well written and very informative. I learned a great deal about the financial world, including how a select few put together the now-infamous sort of loans that really sunk everything. Loans that were so complicated that a lot of bankers didn't even understand what it was they were selling. And Lanchester very wisely points fingers at everyone - including us. Many of us wanted these loans that seemed to hold no risk, even though we knew they were too good to be true. Regulators relaxed rules because they wanted the economy to keep growing. Basically, we stuck our collective heads in the sand and hoped that if we didn't see anything, then nothing bad could ever happen.

We all know how well that strategy worked, don't we?

I would definitely recommend this book, and not just to people that have been affected by the economic downturn of the last two years or so. I think everyone could benefit from reading it; it makes a great lesson in history, and as Winston Churchill said "Those that fail to learn from history, are doomed to repeat it". I don't know about you, but I don't want to repeat this financial fiasco - ever.

"The Box: Uncanny Stories" by Richard Matheson

Matheson is one of the granddaddies of horror, having written a little book called "I Am Legend" that was made into no less than three movies that I know of. He's written numerous books, screenplays, and short stories, and is still with us at the wonderful age of 84. I saw this in our collection and thought it would be worth picking up, plus I remembered that they'd just put out the movie "The Box" not too long ago (not to very good reviews, if memory serves me correctly).

Well, having read "Button, Button", I gotta say I'm not surprised the movie tanked. This is not one of Matheson's best: incredibly short and I saw the "shock" ending coming a mile away. Then again, it was first published back in 1970, and perhaps it was shocking at the time. But there have been too many other similar stories since then for it to hold up.

There were several stories that I read but didn't really feel were all that wonderful. "Girl of my Dreams" had a real nasty husband taking advantage of his wife's visions of the future; the slimeball gets his just desserts."Dying Room Only" was a strange story about a couple stopping at a diner in the middle of nowhere. It reminded me of that movie with Kurt Russell where his wife is kidnapped (think it was called "Breakdown" or something like that...); the ending of "Dying Room" was anticlimatic at best. "A Flourish of Strumpets" asks what would you do if the hookers started coming directly to your door? Gives new meaning to an interesting proposition, I think. "Pattern for Survival" was just odd, and if I read it correctly, there was only one character in the whole thing. I think....

The story I liked the least was probably "The Jazz Machine". It's written in verse form, perhaps trying to catch the feel of the music. In any case, a black musician is approached by a white man (keep in mind this is back in the 40s or 50s); the white man tells him he has a machine that can translate the black man's music into words so that the white man can better understand it. The black man goes along with the idea, until he realizes that the machine actually works - then he destroys it, saying that the "we" need to keep something for ourselves. Obviously supposed to be a commentary on race relations, but still not a story I got into.
I think the best story is also the longest. "Mute" is about a boy who was part of an experiment by four couples trying to raise/nurture their children's skills at telepathy. Paal, the boy, lives in the USA and when he's seven, his parents die horribly in a fire. He's found wandering in the woods with nary a scratch on him and appears to be mute, whether by shock or some medical problem, they don't know. He's taken in by the sheriff and his wife (their own boy drowned in a lake a few years earlier), and they try to figure out why he can't/won't talk. They also finally enroll him in school, something that traumatizes him. Then one of the other parents shows up searching for the reason they haven't heard from the boy's parents in over two years.... A very good story, good character development, etc. This was definitely the jewel of the works.

Overall, I still like Matheson, but boy - the short stories really do show their age.

"The Gone-Away World" by Nick Harkaway

This will be short and sweet. I didn't finish this book - got to page 55 and just gave up. It took me two weeks to make it that far, mostly because I kept falling asleep or got confused enough that I had to go back and reread the previous section (although come to think of it, some of that could be from the falling asleep....) Rather than my own review, let me show you what Publisher's Weekly said, then we'll discuss, OK?

"This unclassifiable debut from the son of legendary thriller author John le Carré is simultaneously a cautionary tale about the absurdity of war; a sardonic science fiction romp through Armageddon; a conspiracy-fueled mystery replete with ninjas, mimes and cannibal dogs; and a horrifying glimpse of a Lovecraftian near-future. Go Away bombs have erased entire sections of reality from the face of the Earth. A nameless soldier and his heroic best friend witness firsthand the unimaginable aftermath outside the Livable Zone, finding that the world has unraveled and is home to an assortment of nightmarish mutations. With the fate of humankind in the balance, the pair become involved in an unlikely and potentially catastrophic love triangle. Readers who prefer linear, conventional plotlines may find Harkaway overly verbose and frustratingly tangential, but those intrigued by works that blur genre boundaries will find this wildly original hybrid a challenging and entertaining entry in the post-apocalyptic canon. (Sept.)"

As I said before, the only challenge I found was staying awake and comprehending this book. And can I just tell you how disappointed I am? From the jacket blurb and some of the Amazon reviews, this really sounded like my cup of tea: weird, very out-there, full of just crazy stuff. And yet, I never did warm up to it. I don't know if the author was trying to be too.... hmmm, not really sure what word to use here, so let's just go with "whatever".... or if the editing was bad, or what the problem was. I can't really say it's a bad book since I didn't get very far into it. What I can say is that I knew after struggling with it for said two weeks, I got past the Nancy Pearl-librarian-extraordinnaire rule to read at least 50 pages before you give up - and I gave up. I just was not loving this work, and I have way too many other titles waiting to be read before I give up. LOL!

If anyone out there has read this book or is reading it and enjoying it, I'd like to hear from you!

"The Devil You Know" by Mike Carey

Felix Castor is a freelance exorcist, and London is his stomping ground. It may seem like a good ghostbuster can charge what he likes and enjoy a hell of a lifestyle - but there's a risk. Sooner or later he's going to take on a spirit that's too strong for him, and he'll be lucky if he only ends up dead. So Castor plans to get out of the game - right after he pays the bills with one last case in an old museum. But instead of driving out the ghost, Castor stirs up a life-leeching demon, a were-beast, and a ruthless East End gang boss, all of whom want to stop him from getting too close to an unpleasant truth. Stop him cold... 

I had read somewhere (probably in a review) that while Jim Butcher is good, Mike Carey is better; Harry Dresden is entertaining, but Felix "Fix" Castor is the real deal. Well, now I've read books by both authors, books in both series, and I have to say.... I like them both, just in different ways.

Felix is not a wizard, just an exorcist. He uses music, usually provided by a tin whistle (and for reasons I don't entirely fathom, the tin whistle works best and invokes the most fear in the spirits), to trap the ghost/spirits and send them on their way. Unlike Harry, he's only got one trick up his sleeve. Like Harry, he finds himself taking cases that he doesn't want to, thus resulting in lots of mayhem and danger. Harry works in Chicago; Fix is in London. Etc, etc.

This book is the first in the Felix Castor series, so there's a lot of set-up and expostion. It doesn't always move at the best pace, but I can forgive that in the first book. I thought the character development was interesting, and I really liked Felix. His roommate was cool, too, and there's obviously a bigger story there (which will hopefully be revealed in time). I won't say too much else about the book, but yes, I enjoyed it quite a bit and have already put the second title on a list of "to-be-read-in-the-not-so-distant-future" titles. Check it out if you've done the Dresden series; it's interesting to compare the two. Check it out if you just like a good read, too!

"Pandemonium" by Daryl Gregory

It is a world like our own in every respect... save one. In the 1950s, random acts of possession begin to occur. Ordinary men, women, and children are the targets of entities that seem to spring from the depths of the collective unconscious, pop-cultural avatars some call demons. There's the Truth, implacable avenger of falsehood. The Captain, brave and self-sacrificing soldier. The Little Angel, whose kiss brings death, whether desired or not. And a string of others, ranging from the bizarre to the benign to the horrific. As a boy, Del Pierce is possessed by the Hellion, an entity whose mischief-making can be deadly. With the help of Del's family and a caring psychiatrist, the demon is exorcised...or is it? Years later, following a car accident, the Hellion is back, trapped inside Del's head and clamoring to get out. Del's quest for help leads him to Valis, an entity possessing the science fiction writer formerly known as Philip K. Dick; to Mother Mariette, a nun who inspires decidedly unchaste feelings; and to the Human League, a secret society devoted to the extermination of demons. All believe that Del holds the key to the plague of possession - and its solution. But for Del, the cure may be worse than the disease.

I don't really know what to say about this book, except that I found myself very involved in a very short time. It seems to be one thing when you start, and then you get an inkling that things are not as they seem, and then you figure it out - and yet, you still keep reading, mostly due to the fact that you're heavily invested in the lead character, Del.

I thought it was an interesting take on what could possibly be some sort of mental illness, the idea that these people are actually possessed by certain demons. And the demons are always the same ones, leading the psychologists who do believe the possession theory to state that these are classic Archetypes. What's strange is that when talking about demons, you usually get the whole Heaven/Hell aspect - but not in this book. There's nothing to indicate that the "demons" are on any side.... indeed, some such as the Captain would seem to be on the side of "good", while the Little Angel could potentially be seen as the Angel of Death (and most people feel that's the side of "evil").

Del is quite the enigma, and I really enjoyed the interaction of him with his family. You felt for him, a man who suffered as a boy, and having had a traumatic experience, finds himself struggling not to suffer again. The question is why Del, possessed by the Hellion as a child, was able to control/contain his demon so many years ago, and can he do it again? The answer isn't as simple as you think...

I would classify this as a sci-fi/fantasy, rather than general fiction, which is were my library system had it for lack of a better place. I can see why we left it in gen fic - it's not an easily classified work. There are certainly fantastical elements in it, and yet, the core story IMHO is really about family - the love of family for each other, the strength and length they'll go to for each other, and how one becomes part of a family. Very interesting characters, good writing... I'll be looking for something from Gregory again.

"What a Demon Wants" by Kathy Love

A bodyguard? Why in the world would a demon need a bodyguard? Yes, it's true Ellina Kostova is only half demon...and an author with a cult following, but that just means strange stuff happens. She isn't in real danger. Heck, she's in more danger from Jude Anthony, the guy her brother has hired to protect her. In big danger, actually. Because she just cannot be attracted to...well, anyone. She's too much of a demon in bed. No, really.... Jude has grown accustomed to being an outcast, adrift in both the mortal and preternatural worlds. Being a paid fighting machine isn't glamorous, but he does it - and many other things - spectacularly well. And man does Ellina Kostova need a lot of protection. But he needs protection, too. She's making him remember what it feels like to be human. And he's already learned no good can come of that. Especially when he's been hired not only to protect her - but also kill her....

I usually enjoy a book by Kathy Love; a quick romantic supernatural read for a weekend. This one fit the quick and romantic, but somehow fell short in the enjoyment department. After finishing, I think I've been able to pinpoint the problem - not enough danger (and honestly, not a very good plot, either).

In any Love book, there's the meeting between the two romantic leads, the growing attraction that both leads try to fight, and a threat to the female that causes the male to go beyond his typical comfort level, thus proving his love for the girl. There's always a supernatural element, too, usually the guy - either a vampire or some such entity. Nothing too difficult to read, but cute and fun and romantic as all get out.

Well, this book has the romantic covered I suppose. Jude is the handsome stranger, half werewolf, half vampire, all male. Ellina is the damsel in distress - except that she's not, not really. The girl is half-demon, so it's not as if she's completely helpless, and I found it difficult to believe that she was really in that much danger. Their growing attraction is supposed to be complicated by Ellina's reaction to lust, one that has turned off every human she's ever tried to be with - her demon side comes out, resulting in a rather unusual skin condition. Again, I didn't buy this so much as a true problem because Jude isn't human. Sigh.

My biggest complaint is the stalker/killer, mostly that the writing wasn't good enough to prevent me from figuring out his/her identity half-way through the book. Not to mention the fact that it's not as if the stalker/killer is truly a villain, something that when revealed felt like a cop-out to me. True, this isn't great literature, but I would like my authors to remember that I do have a brain (even though at times I don't want to tax it!)

I'm hoping the next Love book I pick up will be better than this one. Overall, it felt like a middling C-type work. Not one of her best, I'm afraid.