Conflicted feelings

Lots happening at work, both jobs, and I'm still trying to decide how I feel about things. I won't go into any great detail, as I value my careers - and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But yeah...lots going on.

On the one hand, I'm sort of relieved about some of it. It takes a decision out of my hands, one I've been contemplating for a while. On the other hand, I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for this to be the decision. If that makes any sense, which is probably doesn't without all the facts. And it could be temporary anyway, so who knows what will happen.

The other thing I'm dealing with is jealousy. Well, I guess that's what I'm feeling. I don't really know, as I know I didn't want what someone else got. But I'm still a bit...hm...cranky? about it. I think it's because I was asked to move from what I'd always known - and was still working hard to improve - to a whole new situation, but without any increase in pay. Yep. More responsibilities, more staff, longer drive, new everything - but nothing on the money front. Now, I've always been one of those people that will do what needs to be done. I'm not a slacker. And while I get that the move means management has faith in me and my abilities, and while I'm actually getting to like my new assignment, I'm still feeling...upset? rankled? frustrated? by some other things that are happening. Or not, as the case may be. I think I'm jealous of someone else, but can you be jealous when you didn't want a certain position/assignment in the first place? That's my quandary this morning, trying to define how I feel.

Of course, in the end, it doesn't really matter how I feel. Not about any of this. They're just jobs, in the end, ways to make money to do the thing I really want to do, which is make a life with my hubby. Be able to take a vacation every year. Have some nice weekends off with him. And provide for our furry overlord, aka the cat. And now that I've written that, I realize that is what I should be focused on - making the life I want to have. I can't change anything that's happened, or that's happening. I can only control how I react to things. Which means I should stop thinking so much, get myself another cup of tea, grab my book (currently reading Spring Fever by Mary Kay Andrews - love her!) and sign off the computer for a while. Yes...sounds like plan. :-)

Birthday Boy

It's Friday, and it's also my hubby's birthday. I took the day off to spend it with him, then ended up agreeing to some work time in the morning (a meeting that's kind of important). He said it was OK, seeing as how he has every intention of sleeping in this morning. Still, I feel a bit bad - I promised to spend the day with him.

I'm still working on balancing work and home. Thanks to his illness 4 years ago, when I almost became a widow, I know how important balance is. Much as I love my job, he comes first. To me, that is what marriage is about - putting your partner first.

Anyway, Happy Birthday to Hubby, and Happy Friday to all!

Strange book

I'm reading The Uninvited Guests by Sadie Jones, and it finally got interesting. And very weird. It only took almost two hundred pages for that to happen, far more than I usually give a book. Not to mention the novel is only fifty-nine pages longer than that - I've read over two-thirds of the book already! It's very, very British, set in 1912, and involves a somewhat well-to-do family who may be losing their beloved estate, Sterne. It's Emerald's birthday, and there's supposed to be a party attended by a close friend of Emerald's and that friend's mother. However, things do not go as planned; there's a train wreck, and suddenly the family is being asked to house a group from the accident. A mysterious stranger also shows up at Sterne (cliche, but necessary), a man who obviously has some ties to the family - or the house - in some way.

As I said, I usually give books about fifty pages, then give up. I kept going with this one, and for the life of me, I really don't know why. It's been frustrating to read, as the punctuation is driving me batty! Lots of things I've been taught not to do/use when writing, such as colons and semi-colons in dialog. And the commas! Tons and tons of commas, as if the writer took them by the handful and just threw them across the page - and on every page. Maddening - and yet I kept reading.

It's nice that there's been some vindication to keep going. However, I'm not entirely sure where the story will end up. I could still be horribly disappointed, and then realize I spent a good week or so on this book for nothing. Time will tell...

Hm...

I finally logged in here for the first time in quite a while. Realized I haven't written or posted anything in, wow, almost 3 months. So I'm once again pondering what to do with this site. Keep trying to do the book review thing? Try something new, go off in a different direction? Maybe more about my work life/library stuff?

Or just shut it down entirely? Since I sort of think no one is really out here reading it anymore anyway.

Hm...

Decision time, I guess.