"1001 Ways to be Romantic: Now Completely Revised and More Romantic than Ever" by Gregory Godek

Ever hear the phrase "less is more"? Well, I think Mr. Godek should follow that sage advice, because my biggest problem with this book is its size - it is way too big! I get that he wants to give the reader a wide range of choices as far as how to be romantic, but please! There are so many "suggestions" that after getting about half-way through this tome, I realized he was repeating himself. Or it was so close to something he'd already said that I read it as exactly the same.

In either case, I got tired of the romance and quit.

In addition, some of the "advice" sounded more like advertising. Between all the hotels/motels/B&Bs, the lingerie companies, the chocolate companies, and the like, I suspect that Godek has pocketed a good amount of change for mentioning their names. And for someone who keeps saying "you don't need to spend a lot of money to be romantic", he would have you shelling out some serious dough to impress your sweetie.

Before you think I'm completely writing this guy (and book) off, not all the advice is bad. Some of it is quite good, such as putting forth 100% in your relationship, rather than the old 50-50 split (if you've only willing to meet your partner half-way, good luck when the going gets tough). He also advises not to take your significant other for granted, which is always good advice - you never know what can happen when you least expect it. Little romantic gestures, such as leaving love notes in his/her car, or doing a chore that your partner hates to do, are also good, and in fact, we've done that in our own marriage. But the amount of dreck you have to skim through to get to the good stuff is not worth the time or the trouble.

My advice is to treat your partner the way you want to be treated, tell him/her that you love him/her every day, and kiss a lot!

"The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death" by Laurie Notaro

Laurie Notaro has an uncanny ability to attract insanity - and leave readers doubled over with laughter. In The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, she experiences the popular phenomenon of laser hair removal (because at least one of her chins should be stubble-free); bemoans the scourge of the Open Mouth Coughers on America's airplanes; welcomes the newest ex-con (yay, a sex offender!) to her neighborhood; and watches, against her own better judgment, every Discovery Health Channel special on parasites and tapeworms that has ever aired - resulting in an overwhelming fear that a worm the size of a python will soon come a-knocking on her back door. The Cleveland Plain Dealer says that Laurie Notaro is "a scream, the freak-magnet of a girlfriend you can't wiat to meet for a drink to hear her latest story." ....Notaro proves she's not only funny but resigned to the fact that you can't look bad ass in a Prius. Don't even try.

I absolutely adore Laurie Notaro, and I would totally be friends with her if I ever met her (and she'd let me, that is). My good friend Wendy sent me a copy of her first book a few years back and I've been hooked every since. This installment finds Notaro doing such fun things as going dealing with naughty neighbors, extended warranties, and other strange oddities in her life - including her relocation from her beloved Phoenix to the much-moister-climbed Oregon. For anyone who has ever moved, especially if you've moved from a long-term location, you'll know exactly how she feels about moving.

Probably my favorite entry in this book is one of the most serious: the death of Notaro's dog, Bella. I found myself flying back in time to 1986, when my own beloved black Lab, Daisy, was rushed off to the vet in severe distress after a week of lethargy and non-eating. I was bawling like the proverbial baby as Laurie wrote about taking Bella to the vet, the long hours of waiting, and the dog rallying, only to fade quickly just hours later. Anyone who has ever loved and lost a pet will need a huge box of tissues when they read "Ready or Not" - you just can't help yourself.

But the rest of the book is hilarious, and in these trying times, we all need a good laugh!

"Freak Magnet" by Andrew Auseon

A novel about freaks, geeks, crushes, and friends - and how sometimes you can be all of them at once.

Charlie is the freak. Gloria is the freak magnet. They're pretty much destined to meet. And when they do, sparks fly... for Charlie. Gloria, well, she just thinks he's like every other freak who feels compelled to talk to her, although a little better-looking than most. While Charlie has his head in the clouds, Gloria's got hers in a book: her Freak Folio - a record of every weirdo who's talked to her in the last year (it's a big book). But never before has she felt the pull to get to know one of them better. Until now.

In this he-said-she-said tale of love, loss, and lucky signs ...... two young strangers at a crossroads in their lives become friends by happy accident (okay, maybe some harmless stalking is involved - and not by the person you'd think!) - and forever change each other.

As one of the members of our library system's Collection Development team, I was excited to read a synopsis of this book. It sounded like just the thing for our young adult readers, a group that I've been trying to increase in numbers and frequency. It's a "normal" book, too, not a vampire or werewolf in sight, something that I really wanted us to have. Not that I don't like the supernatural stuff - just been seeing an awful lot of it lately and wanted to have a more balanced collection.

The other reason I wanted us to have this book is nostalgia; I myself was a freak magnet during my high school days. My best friend at the time (and she knows who she is!) felt the same way, and we'd often sit at our local Dairy Queen lamenting the fact that the only boys who seemed to want to talk to us were geeks, freaks, and general weirdos. We were worried that we were sporting some sort of invisible tattoos on our foreheads that could only be read by the strange boys in our town. None of the "cool" or "cute" guys gave us the time of day, just the ones that embarassed the hell out of us. So when a book comes along about two kids in high school, a love story of sorts, and the title is "Freak Magnet" - well, it was a no-brainer that I was going to pick this up for my branch.

The character development is good, and I liked the way Auseon bounced between Charlie's and Gloria's viewpoints. (Charlie's chapters are all titles "Freak", and of course, Gloria's are all titles "Magnet"). The story isn't half bad either, and I felt like the author was paying homage to the classic John Hughes movie "Pretty in Pink" with his ending. My biggest complaint with this novel is all the extremely serious drama going on in each teen's life: Charlie's mom has a debilitating fatal illness, Gloria's brother was killed in Afghanistan, Charlie's best friend Edison was in a horrible accident and permanently lost the use of his legs, etc. I realize the author wants to show that both of these kids aren't as different as they think they are, but at times it just seemed like too much. I sort of felt like I do when watching the Olympics now - everyone has a sob story. Doesn't anyone have the right to a happy childhood? I think it would have been more interesting if Gloria had been more "normal", as it would truly take a special person to see past Charlie's "freakdom".

But that's just my opinion. And trust me, it's not so morbid that I wasn't rooting for these two to realize they really love each other - I was the whole time I was reading this book! I'm a sucker for a happy ending, after all. However, I'm not entirely sure Auseon gave them one....

"The Tyranny of E-mail: the four-thousand year journey to your inbox" by John Freeman

The first e-mail was sent less than forty years ago: by 2011, there will be 3.2 billion e-mail users. The average corporate worker now receives upwards of two hundred e-mails per day. The flood of messages is ceaseless and follows us everywhere. We check e-mail in transit; we check it in the bath. We check it before bed and upon waking up. We check it even midconversation, blithely assuming no one will notice. We no longer make our own to-do list. E-mail does. It's time for a break. In The Tyranny of E-mail, John Freeman takes an entertaining look at the nature of correspondence through the ages. From love poems delivered on clay tablets to the art of the letter to the first era of information overload (via the telegraph) to the vast network brought on by the Internet, Freeman answers the difficult question, Where is this taking us? Put down your BlackBerry and consider the consequences. As the toll of e-mail mounts by reducing our time for leisure and contemplation and by separating us from one another in an unending and lonely battle with the overfull inbox, John Freeman - one of America's preeminent literary critics - enters a plea for communication that is more selective and nuanced and, above all, more sociable.

This was a wonderful little book about email. Yes, the ability to send and receive messages via cyberspace (and the ability to do it almost instantly) has changed the way the world works. Literally. According to John Freeman, there are some in the corporate world that receive and try to respond to some 200+ emails every day. Thankfully, I am not one of those people. But there are times where it can seem as if everyone wants a piece of you, and if you don't respond quickly enough, you can anger someone in an instant.

What was interesting about this book is that it's not just about email. Freeman traces the evolution of written communication from love poems painstakingly traced onto clay tablets, to written letters on papyrus, to the telegraph, the Pony Express, and our much-maligned Postal Service. It's all here, from soup to nuts, so to speak. And the author does an excellent job of also tracing the de-volution of our writing skills; letters were once works of art, with the author taking the time and care necessary to really communicate their feelings (or simply their actions, as the case may be - either way, they used proper grammar and spelling).

Of course, once the computer was invented, and the Internet was up and running, we turned to this thing called email - and a monster was born. What should be a fast and efficient way for us to send messages has instead become the albatross around our necks; people in companies will no longer walk down the hall to ask their co-worker a question - they send an email. Employees work more than the normal 8-hour day so they can ensure that they have answered all their messages, even the ones that don't really require a response. And how do you determine what really needs a response? Worse yet, people no longer relax when they are home with family; they spend precious moments "checking in" with the office using their Blackberrys or laptops, rather than talk, eat, and laugh with their loved ones. And vacations? Who truly goes on vacation anymore? With the current economic situation, people are afraid not to check in with work - their job might not be there when they return from their exotic destination.

I agree with most of what Freeman has to say, all but the actual amount of email. Then again, I don't have an uber-important corporate position, so maybe I'd feel differently if I did. I thought it was very interesting that Freeman makes the argument of us being addicted to email, literally getting a "high" when we get new messages and getting depressed when there's nothing new in the box. And I very much agree that our grammatical skills have taken a complete nosedive with the advent of email and text messaging. I mean, really, what's wrong with spelling words correctly and using punctuation? Best of all, Freeman is proposing a "slow communication" movement, asking us as a society to stop sending so much email, and - gasp - picking up a phone to call someone, meeting in person for coffee, etc. Or even asking us to write an "old-fashioned" letter and sending it via the U. S. Postal Service, something most no longer do. I, for one, am all for this propsoal!

"The Flirt" by Kathleen Tessaro

"I'm going to seduce you." Tantalizing words written on an ivory card. It is the first clue that will lead an intrigued and intriguing London lady on an odyssey of sensual experience designed to awaken her romantic nature. Out-of-work actor Hughie Venable-Smythe has found a profitable new outlet for his talents. He is hired, often by distraught husbands, to flirt with wives who are feeling neglected in their relationships. His current seductive campaign is focused on Olivia, the spouse of a narcissistic billionaire, and the lady is responding quite nicely to the cream-colored missives he secretly leaves for her. So nicely, in fact, that Hughie decides to employ a similar technique - and shockingly similar messages - in his pursuit of his own heart's desire: the aloof and charming lingerie designer, Leticia. But the canny, professional flirt's brazen anonymous intrusions into the lives of two women are about to set in motion a series of remarkable events that no one could have anticipated - setting the stage for shocking revelations about love, friendship, and domestic bliss.

Tessaro is the author of two previous books, "Elegance" and "Innocence", both of which I thoroughly enjoyed. This one sounded good, too, so I finally got around to reserving it a few weeks ago. And it is good, but it's not exactly what the back of the book leads you to believe...

Hugie is an out-of-work actor, but when we first meet him, he's looking for a job. He's also flirting with a coffee-shop waitress, trying to get her to put his coffee on account, seeing as how he's left his AMEX card at home (a very old line that he's worked to death, but the waitress has a soft spot in her heart for him, usually paying for his coffee herself). He answers an ad in the paper, and thus is hired on to learn the art of flirting. We follow him on this journey, and at no time would I really call him a "professional" at this new endeavor; he fails much more than he succeeds, and indeed, it's these failures that cause the "series of remarkable events".

There's a rather large cast of characters, but Tessaro does an excellent job of developing each one. I never felt like anyone got slighted as far as their story went, and the different plot lines dovetailed nicely. The only complaint I really have is the twist that occurs close to the end of the book involving Hughie; I can't say any more for fear of giving it away, but I found myself thinking it was a little too staged and preposterous. Still, this is a nice work, a little more serious than your usual Chick Lit offering.

Look for Tessaro's next book, "The Debutante", in stores this October.

"Pleasure of a Dark Prince" by Kresley Cole

Cole is now up to Book 7 in her Immortals After Dark series, and I suppose it's a lucky number for her. There's nothing really new here, but then again, if it ain't broke, don't fix it - right? The usual sort of plot awaits the reader of this book, but damned if you won't find yourself turning the page for more, and more, and more....

Lucia the Huntress is the heroine of our story. She's one of the Valkyrie, having made a deal with a goddess long ago for her archery abilities. She's the best archer on the planet, having agreed to stay celibate in exchange for her life; she's also struck with excruciating pain any time she misses a shot.

Garreth MacRieve, aka "the dark prince", is our grumpy Scottish lykae hero. While playing rugby, he catches the scent of his mate, and starts to chase after her. Of course, that woman is Lucia - the one woman who cannot be with him under any circumstances for fear of losing her goddess-given gift (and possibly her life). It's going to take all the Scot's cunning and manly wiles to woo her to his bed.

And what good is an old-fashioned wooing without the elements of danger and deception? After the two would-be mates meet, we fast-forward an entire year with the Ascension quickly nearing (a sort of supernatural free-for-all, with a few winners and lots of losers). Lucia must keep Crom Cruach, the Broken Bloody One, from escaping his prison and wreaking havoc on humans. She needs MacRieve's help to locate the prison this time around, but she also needs him to stay away when the actual fight ensues; turns out old BBO can infect others to make them kill the ones they love they most, and by this time, of course Garreth and Lucia love each other, even if they won't admit it. Why is Lucia immune? Well, it turns out that she's BBOs wife...

It's the usual cast of characters from Cresley, especially the Valkyries. I was happy as always to see Nix, the crazy but adorable seer of the bunch. Someday she's going to get her own story, and that's the one I'm really waiting for! The plot isn't bad, the action is well-written, and the romance - well, the romance may be the only thing that I had a problem with. I loved MacRieve, but Lucia was a bit too "I am woman, hear me roar" for me. I don't want the damsel in distress who can't do anything for herself, but there is such a thing as protesting too much, and Lucia protested in spades. Also, the sex scenes started off nicely, but by the end of the book I found myself skimming over them, never a good sign. I'm not sure if there were too many of them or if the writing took a nose-dive; judge for yourself.

Look for Book 8 in this series, "Demon from the Dark", late next month (August 2010).

"What Would Satan Do? Cartoons about right, wrong, and very, very wrong" by Pat Byrnes

I wasn't very familiar with Pat Byrnes before I picked up this wondeful collection of his cartoons. He's evidently done a lot of work for The New Yorker, which is why he's well-known (to certain people - certainly not to me). I picked this up because I loved the title, not to mention the subtitle.

According to the introduction by the author, this book came about as a direct reaction to the phrase "What Would Jesus Do?" - something the author now believes is very overused. And really, how helpful is it to ask what Jesus would do in any given situation? Wouldn't it be more helpful to ask what Satan would do, and then do the exact opposite? Sure it would! Thus, the cartoons included in the book.

The humor runs the gamut here, from overt to subtle, from hilarious to groan-inducing. The artwork is great, with a mix of black & white and color 'toons. And I thought they were all quite funny. For example, one of my favorites shows two older, obviously rich, gentleman sitting in front of a fireplace. They have on their smoking jackets and slippers, and each has a glass of what appears to be brandy. The thinner of the two is looking at his companion and says "Release the hounds! That's your answer to everything." Too funny!

This won't take you long to read, maybe a half hour tops, so my advice is to see if your local library has it. Unless you really, really enjoy it, in which case you could certainly afford to buy it at the very reasonal rate of $14.95.